It's Right Under Your Nose

Abundant thinking is not something I have come by easily.  Before I keep going I want you to know that I aim to change that "lack thinking."  Just for the record, you know, lest I send out energy that suggests I want to keep my non-abundant thinking.  I do not.  Bring on the abundance!

I think, for many, maybe even most of us, the idea that the world is abundant and our lucky oyster is out there is ours to be found - and with ease - mind you - is nonsense.

Work hard. Get paid a little. Get to do cool stuff once in a while, if you're lucky.

I think we all have a tendency to look at all the ways we lack this, that, or the other thing rather than seeing all that is abundant.

Take the last 6 years, for instance. The first 3 of these years we watched our income drop like a stone. Hubby works in a job that's opposite the economy so if the economy is good, our income tends to shift south.  And vice versa.

6 years ago we started a sharp decline where our income dropped by half the first year, half from there the next and another 25% the next and another 25% the next.  Seriously. It's been mind blowing.

We have survived, though. And, in some ways we're better for it. But, I really do think it's time to shift this trend, redirect this train, move in a better direction.

It's been hard, though. So very stressful. We've had to take money from our savings. Pretty much drained all the non-retirement savings and dipped into the retirement, too.  That's not a pretty sight.  At all.  The taxes. Lord, have mercy. It's like a massive kick in the pants.

But, like I've said, in some ways we're better for it. I appreciate things more than I used to.

But, what I had creep into my thinking was that we are never going to recover, this debt we've amassed is going to hound us for years and that maybe we'll even lose our house.  There isn't enough money. We're broke. We're broke.  We are so very fucking broke.

It permeated my thinking. Came out of my mouth.

None of those have happened mind you. But it's like I kept waiting for the shoe to drop.

If you read my first blog you'll probably say this has a familiar ring to it.

Sometimes I've wondered if my focus on lack kept us in lack but it doesn't matter.  All I have is the here and now and the ability to move forward with new thinking.

Abundance thinking and manifestation is all the rage these days. I believe that a shift in thinking from there is lack all around is one of the keys to seeing all the abundance to be had.

Do I think that money grows on trees and I can just snap my fingers and have a new Lamborghini drop from the sky?  Nope. And, honestly, having a Lamborghini drop from the sky is all kinds of dangerous and who wants to see that poor car get all smashed up from that drop?  Maybe it can just drive up to me instead.  <grin>

Truthfully, I'm not totally certain where I sit with all this manifestation stuff.  I think it's more about noticing what IS and what's to be HAD instead of focusing on all the strife and trouble and lack.

How much do you think you've missed in the way of blessings because you were looking in the wrong direction?

Have you ever been out on the town and the next day your friend says to you, "Hey, I saw you at XYZ Restaurant when you were walking out the door."  You didn't see your friend because you weren't looking in the right direction.  You weren't expecting her to be there so you didn't keep your eyes peeled looking for her.

But she was there, right under your nose and you were oblivious to her presence. Just because you didn't see her doesn't mean she wasn't there. Your focus just wasn't on seeing her!

What if abundance and manifestation work the same way?  What if we were to tune into the belief that everywhere we go that there is abundance to be had. A gift waiting for us.  Something spectacularly awesome.

Does that mean everytime we walk out the door a pile of cash is going to drop into our laps?

Nope.  And, I think because we think that this manifestation thing always has something to do with money that we miss all the other abundances and gifts that come our way.

So, even though our current financial situation is not where we would like it to be. I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for the abundance that DOES exist.  There is no lack for really anything in this world no matter how much the news wants to freak you the hell out.  Their job is to get a rise out of you in some way and unfortunately, they like to aim to get you angry, upset, ready to go to war over an issue, that honestly, you really just need to keep your nose out of and so do I.

So, I challenge you, for the next week, tell yourself every single morning, "I've got my eyes peeled for all the abundance in my life. I'm going to open myself up to seeing and receiving and giving abundance all over the place."

And don't make the abundance about something specific.  Let the abundance show up in its own special way.

You just might be surprised what you see.

And that financial situation we're in?  I decided to shift my thinking.  Thankfully, before the sudden and sharp decline in our income we had saved quite a bit and the stock market has been amazing.  We have enough money in our retirement account to take care of us for more than a year if we never made another dime. Maybe even 2 years if we were really smart about it.

Not that I have any desire to use this money and our plan is to keep it there until we can take it out without paying a painful fine.

But, my thinking is going to change from we're broke, we're broke to we have what we need, we're going to be alright. This is all going to turn around and we will be just fine.

In fact, we're going to be ABUNDANTLY FINE.

It Only Took Me 9 Years

How to start a new blog?  What to say?  How does this thing begin?

It tried to begin 9 years ago when I was 39.  At that time I titled the blog What Do You Mean I Can't Say That?  And then I said nothing.  Not one single thing.

Pure silence.  For nine years.  And now I'm 48 and it's time to say what I want to say.

It's hard to not put this "oh, this has got to be an epic first blog" expectation on my shoulders. I mean, what if I write something and it's boring and no one wants to read it.

Well, I've decided who the hell cares if no one wants to read it. How many people have been held back from doing or having something great because they're concerned no one will care, it won't be big enough, or whatever?

Millions upon millions. That's who.  I aim to not be one of them.

I aim to be free.  I aim to go with what I believe I'm meant to do.

I think it's because I've been doing a lot of work on myself in the past 8 months.  I've been doing work on myself for years, actually, but I finally have come to the belief that things can change and I can have what I want to have and that what I want to have hasn't been figured out yet but I'm gonna.

We all hold ourselves back.  In one way or another we have programming that says, you can't have that, you can't be that, you can't......

And, most of the time that programming has been running underneath the surface forever and we aren't even aware it's there.

I've known for a while that I've had something holding me back. I could see the events, I knew some of the programming but I couldn't really put my finger on what I needed to do to fix it.

I needed new thinking. If I was going to forge a new path in my neurons that I can be, do, think what I want and that life has so much in store for me if I just would open my eyes to it.

I was adopted. And so many, and I mean so many, times in my life I've been told - THAT'S why you.....fill in the blank (have trouble with _______________). I was always told that being adopted was a gift. That it was good that my birthmother gave me up.  I've been quite hesitant to believe anything but that and I'm not giving up that thinking but I have come to believe that me, as that baby, way back then?  She didn't think it was so good.

OK, OK, I know. You're like - you weren't in a cognitive place back then. You didn't know any better.  So, you think that babies aren't aware when their mother is around? Ever seen a newborn baby, crying, be picked up by someone new, in an attempt to calm them and they pat them on the back, they rock them, they make soothing sounds and the baby keeps up its crying?  Then mama walks up and does the same thing. She holds them, pats them on the back, rocks the baby makes soothing sounds and the baby quiets and falls asleep contentedly in her arms.

This is who they trust.  This baby KNOWS her mom. Everything about the mom is known the moment that baby pops out.  There is comfort and safety in her mom.  Her smell. the sound of her mom's heart beat, the tones of her voice. It's where she belongs.  She doesn't need to be cognitive about this.  There's nothing cognitive about this. It's simply known.

Imagine that same baby, she's born and her mom doesn't even touch her. Born and removed. All that work to come out of the womb. All that time spent growing in her mother and suddenly, gone.  She knows it.  She doesn't need to be have the cognitive thought, my mother is no longer here. She feels the loss.  The impact of this doesn't end there.

I think I've been looking for things to fail all my life.  That thought, why put in all the effort, it isn't going to work out any way. And, I'm not enough to keep, I must not be enough for anyone.

You're probably saying, right, you carried on this thought from birth and separation from your mom?  That's crazy.

Well, I've seen this story play out over my entire life.  Over and over and over again. It's been the story running below the surface for a long time.

I spent a lot of time being told by the parents who raised me that I had so many great qualities, BUT. Always a but....  Hold back.  Don't fully be yourself. Be careful or you're offend them. You're strong but you're going to need to hold back.

I know my parents loved me but this wasn't the thing I needed to be told.  I wish I had been told - you've got so many great qualities.....we are excited to see how you use these qualities to be the best version of you. We know you're working out as you grow up the best way to be in this world to let these qualities shine.

I wonder if my parents realized that the BUT was going to negate all that good.

I spent a lot of my life believing that it didn't matter how hard I tried, what I wanted, any success....sooner or later it was going to go away.  Mostly because I was going to fuck it up.

I really didn't even know that was the story that was running below the surface or that it went far back to my birth.  My birthmother did the right thing. But the thinking was that if I stayed around she was going to be trapped in this life that she didn't want. That energy permeated me from the very beginning.

She wasn't trying to send me negative messages about me.  But energy has a way of seeping in even when we don't want it.

I can give you story after story after story where this thinking was running below the surface. I couldn't even see it all until I starting using a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique in sessions with a superstar EFT chick named Evelyn.  After 6 months of searching....it's like I was smacked in the face knowing.

I've been holding back because I believed I would sooner or later fuck it up so why even start.  Why GO ALL IN?  Why would I do that?

Well, here's the good news. I get to change that thinking. That story that has been running below the surface for years and years and years (48 to be exact).  I GET to change it.  I GET to create new thinking.  I GET to turn this ship around and point it towards success and abundance.

I'm not going to fuck it up. I have everything I need inside me right now to turn things around and bring the abundance and success just waiting to be had.

So, I'm bucking up against the norm. I get to say what I want.

No buts.